Shh
Don’t tell anyone.
Shrink yourself.
Be pretty.
When I’m shushed, it brings up years of being silenced. Let me translate this for you. Telling me to be quiet is equivalent to “Your voice and story don’t matter. You don’t matter.”
The men in my early years told me to be a good girl. At the age of six, they told me my body was theirs. Don’t tell the truth so we can lie. When I grew breasts and a backbone, they said, “Stop being a one-way chick.” Fall in line, Soldier.
Even at the age of 50, I could be silenced. Getting my PhD was four years of muzzling. Shh.
The world-renowned university, where I spent my 30-year career, told my story. At least they told the ending and that’s all people will remember. For over 20 years, I was needed to bring in money. Remember, dear, I was a million-dollar winner for our department for many consecutive years until you got rid of the award. That’s when the department chair knew my name. Dare I say, because you won’t, I brought in more money than our NIH (National Institutes of Health)-respected scientists.
Then the Center of Community Health became a liability. That’s when money and faculty kept leaving our Center. It was made crystal clear that the profound impact we were having on communities didn’t matter if we couldn’t pay the bills. I’m here to tell you there is so much wrong with this. I can’t believe I have to say this, but I do. Supporting real humans, ones who need it the most because we make them invisible, compared to your fruit flies is vital.
While I was bringing in lots of money, there was radio silence on your end including when we asked for help in managing our grants or finding funding for us to apply for. Oh, but when the County took over my projects, you yelled “Pack your bags. There’s the door.” Shh.
Well, no more. I won’t be a good girl. I will not hold my tongue. You cannot make me invisible.
This was the impetus of Representation Rebellion. I wanted to create a community of women like me who are sick and tired of being silenced. I wanted a space for women to tell their stories and quiet the tall tales the system tells about us.
We are disruptors.
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