Alive with Dr. Zive: Relationships (02/24/2022)
Dr. Z and Robin McNulty went LIVE on Facebook on Feb 24, 2022, to talk about relationships. Dr. Z had been inspired by her daughter, Molly, getting married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator.
This event took place on the cusp of the start of the war in Ukraine and in the midst of the fallout from the Coronavirus, the mental health epidemic, and the disconnection and loneliness of so many of us. Discussions and discoveries about the importance of relationships are imperative since these relationships, between countries and humans, are breaking down.
Dr. Z invited us to breathe in and out love. First, we turned that love inward, sending it to ourselves. Then we sent love to acquaintances and strangers, and to people we know, whether we love them or not. Breathing into love, showing compassion first to ourselves, then to our most difficult relationships can help us have a more positive outlook on all relationships.
To start to talk about relationships, we talked about loneliness and disconnection. We have a pandemic, Dr. Z argued, not the Coronavirus, but one of isolation, loneliness, and disconnection. We’ve created Representation Rebellion and events like Alive with Dr. Zive to help remedy these things. We want to create safe spaces to be brave and find connections.
Do you have any idea how many Americans feel seriously lonely? Almost one in three, and most of those are young adults and mothers with young children. Americans aren’t alone. During Brexit, the British people felt so disconnected from the world they developed a Ministry of Loneliness. This is a global pandemic.
There are so many reasons for the loneliness pandemic including social media. We compare ourselves, filter and edit ourselves, and have constant reminders of things and people we’ve lost. We mostly show and see the superficial fun rather than connecting through real conversations and real images. In addition, we have “reality” television and misinformation. Our obsession with scrolling through IG, YouTube, and a plethora of “reality” shows is making us sick.
Robin Williams once said, “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” This is what media can do to us, especially as the older, invisible woman.
What’s the difference between being lonely and being alone? Your life can feel full, but you can still be lonely. You can always be doing, doing, doing. However, when the quiet comes, we feel lonely. These moments of reflection can highlight, even if you’re surrounded by loved ones, the disconnection you feel from them. It’s rough. This is why we need to consciously create these brave and safe spaces of connection through Representation Rebellion.
When you think about relationships, what or who do you think about? Many of us will first go to friends, family members, and acquaintances. But the first, most important relationship is to yourself. We have to be connected to ourselves first in order to combat loneliness. When you show love and gratitude to yourself, it makes being connected easier to obtain.
How do you feel when you’re in a healthy relationship? Many of us feel safe and connected, that we can ask that person for help when we need it. What are some ways you can connect with yourself so you can create those healthy, connecting relationships? The act of connection can be as simple as a smile to yourself in the mirror or to those around you.
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To see the entire FB Live go to